We see many clients struggling with this question – How do I get rid of my inner critic who tells me I’m useless, have no willpower, and can’t stick to anything?
To answer that, I ask my clients, “Would you talk to your best friend the way you talk to yourself?” absolutely no. Because if you did, you wouldn’t have them as a friend for much longer.
We all have been there at some stage of life. We tend to be hard on ourselves with the harsh, negative, and critical voice in our heads that tells us we’re not good enough, we’re useless and hopeless.
But, research shows that our brains notice negative thoughts more than positive ones. This is known as the negative bias, and scientists believe it’s down to our survival instinct, where we pay more attention to danger than the good stuff.
But you know what? The core problem with the inner critic is not about having these negative thoughts. The real problem is when we believe them to be reality.
How to Get Rid of Your Inner Critic
Things to remember to get rid of negative thoughts
● You are not your thoughts.
You are on a journey of change, and the first step is to be aware of it. Then you have the power and choice to decide whether to believe your thoughts or cast them aside as lies that will not serve you well.
● Don’t believe the inner voice that tells you, you can’t do this.
You have great power within you and have already achieved a lot so stop believing that story.
● Always remember that you are where you are because of the story you keep telling yourself.
Stop telling yourself these stories – it’s too difficult, it’s too expensive, I’m getting too old, it’s just middle age, i’m just big boned, I have a slow metabolism, I don’t have the time, it’s not the right time.
These are just stories that don’t serve you well and imprison you.
● Exercise your Positive Thinking!
– I can do this!
– I have it within me to believe the right story.
– I can do this because I deserve it.
– I have all the tools to get through anything and reach my goal.
– It’s time to look after number one: MYSELF.
The next time you find yourself saying unpleasant things to yourself. Use the stop technique.
When you hear the negative comments, shout aloud if possible “STOP”, examine the thought and ask yourself if it is real or just a story you’re telling yourself. Then replace it with a nice pleasant thought and remind yourself that you’re a doer and that you will speak kindly to yourself just like you would to your best friend.