The thing about conditioning is that it happens without us realising. Growing up to be fearful is not a personality trait but a result of being moulded and shaped by past interactions. Our parents, as primary programmers can instill fear by being over cautious in nurturing us, or by passing on fears that have ruled and debilitated their own lives. Their constant warnings and criticisms combined with small-minded, bullying teachers and bosses, perhaps manipulative, threatening peers all elevate fear to a strangulous torturous level.
THE FEAR EFFECT:
We start to fear that we are not good enough, and the conditioning soon becomes a self-fulfilled prophecy.
Fear was given to us as a motive to drive us away from PHYSICAL threat. When practiced to avoid difficult circumstances, we are stunting our development by running back into our comfort zone each time there’s challenge or strain. Nowadays there is little physical threat to our well-being, but it is our avoidance of perceived psychological danger that weakens our motivation and causes us to retract into safe and unchallenged territory.
Befriending fear is like forcing a wolf to be a pet. Eventually the pet will eat us alive.
It is amazing how many people behave out of fear but don’t recognise it as a constraint in their lives. It is not always manifested in a timid, sheepish nature but often in ANGER, AGGRESSION, HATRED, INTOLERANCE and JEALOUSY. This is because fearful people are so plagued by insecurity that they take comfort in pulling others down. They have stumped their own progress and personal freedom so can’t abide others moving forward. They will do anything to stop their EGO being fiercely challenged. Their goal is to oppress others energy so they can feel better about themselves.
Other fearful people feel powerless, inferior, and ready to give up at the first hurdle. They are motivated by fear which paralyzes their ambitions, capabilities and dreams. They can sabotage progress in others with their weak will, apathetic advice and gleeful warnings about the very thing that advances us: EFFORT (which causes satisfaction).
Fear rules us only if we let it. At Motivation we encourage clients to recognise and challenge fearful thoughts. Fear will sabotage progress in weight loss or any other goal in life as inevitable challenges will fill the mind with a barrage of destructive thoughts. Do you ever think?
“I can’t….in case I’m not good enough or it doesn’t work out”
“If things were different I could do this…”
“You don’t understand…”
“I would like to…but”
- A life motivated by fear = weak, discontent, regret, apathy
- A life motivated by freedom = strong, fulfilled, happy, content
Some clients come to Motivation oozing apathy and lack of ambition. They believe they’re committed to improving their life but don’t have the resolve to pursue the end goal. They unwittingly throw away their freedom and purpose as they BELIEVE they are too weak to work at it and soon return to a life of despairing familiarity. These people let the motive of fear drive their lives.
Others become aware of the effect of over protection at home, or the teacher’s remarks that put them off trying, the difference is they OVERCOME the learned fear by willful practice. They accept the past but work at improving the future. They choose to fuel their mind with rational thoughts so they become louder and more intense than the defeating ones from the past. This behavioural conditioning is their greatest power, they learn to be driven by freedom instead of fear. They succeed by giving their full consciousness and devotion to self-mastery.
Examine yourself, examine your family, friends and colleagues. Beware of worriers, idlers, pessimists and slanderers. Don’t let them derail you in choosing to work for self-growth. Don’t let their attitudes affect your decision making. Remember, you are not a slave to your past, you can be freed by your conscious thoughts and disciplined habits.